The Golden Seed Guide to Positive Aging

For many years we have been in the grip of a fitness boom that says that the best way to approach old age is to be active and fit.  I have no doubt that fortunes have been made on the back of ‘over 50’s fitness’.  Yet so much evidence is pointing to something that life coaching has known for a long time and has changed many people’s lives in the process.  It is not so much the body that we need to keep active, but it is the strength of your personal foundation and the development of healthy attitudes that keeps one young.  ‘Young at Heart’ is not reserved for a special few but for all of us as we approach those golden years. 

There is absolutely no doubt about it you are going to age; but how are you going to do it? 

I can see four factors that seem to be significant in approaching and successfully negotiating your approach to retirement no matter what your age.

1.       Bend

The bend guide is all about flexibility, resilience, resourcefulness and adaptability.  It was Charles Darwin who said that it wasn’t the strongest or the most intelligent that survive; but those who are able to adapt to different circumstances.  When someone bowls a leg break then the batsmen has to adapt and possibly change the stroke that he was going to play.  After many years of living there can be a tendency to get stuck in a rut and think that because ‘it’ has always happened this way then it will always be so.  There are many stories of very successful people who after a lifetime of success, be it in any field when circumstances change, be it by choice or not, they find it difficult to cope and their world falls apart.  Are you Mr/Mrs/Ms adaptable? Or are you the person who rails at the world and complains that ‘it was never like this in the old days? 

2.       Stretch

The Stretching guide is all about taking things a little more lightly.  We have all worked with or know someone, for whom everything is a ‘sheep-station’; serious in the extreme to the point where someone might tell them to ‘lighten up and get a life’.  There are three parts that make up this stretching activity

a.       A Sense of Humour

There are times when approaching the Golden Years brings with it certain indignities that are sometimes trying and they can be quite troubling.  It is reported that Gina Lollibrigida when asked why she looked so good at 70 replied that she did good skin care, eat healthily and didn’t make ‘old people noises’.  Now many of us will associate with that, but there are times when it is just so important to laugh and that includes laughing at yourself.  If you haven’t got a sense of humour then go out and get one.

b.       An Attitude of Gratitude

Someone once said that they used to complain about not having any shoes until they met someone with no feet.  As the economic climate devastates so many peoples savings and so many people have genuinely suffered; it is still vitally important to focus on what you do have, not what you don’t have.  As we get older there are so many things that start to pack up and it is fairly easy to complain about what we can’t do rather than be grateful for what we can do.

c.        The Ability to Forgive

Of all the qualities of life this is one of the most important; yet expanding this ability is the one that many of us find most difficult.  Of all the things we need to approach the Golden Years this is the one that cannot be ignored.  Of course we need to forgive those who we feel have wronged us and let go of the desire for revenge.  There is a saying that indicates that by not forgiving it is like drinking a glass of poison and hoping that the other person will die.  It’s not about condoning or forgetting the past, but freeing ourselves from the power of what happened; and never forgetting the importance of forgiving yourself as well.  The ability to forgive is really about you 

3.       Live

If stretch was about taking things a little less seriously then ‘Live’ is all about embracing those qualities that make us sparkle.  It’s about having the capacity to play, love and a desire to ‘connect’ with others.  It’s the ability to be nourished by the past and celebrate what we have become, not necessarily to live in the past so that our mantra is all about ‘In my day...’ but to celebrate what we have become.  For some people it is in spite of our past rather than because of what has happened; but cause to celebrate anyway.  It’s about developing the attitude of continuous learning and curiosity about life and what it holds for us.  It’s about engaging with the world and expectation about what each new day will give us.  Without it we lose that ability to ‘Sparkle’. 

4.       Love
Add this all together and it really is about loving yourself and what you have become.  For some people it will be enough to know within themselves that they are really OK, for others it may be that it is about putting back into the community in some way; reconnecting with old friends so that you have a legitimate reason for doing the ‘.. and do you remember when..’ type of conversations.  For some it may be to remember the past and somehow record it for future generations.  Everyone has a story within them but it does not have to be written down just passed on in some way so that you are leaving something behind for the future.  One woman, who was a WWII WREN, related the story to me about her 30 year old daughter’s latest Christmas gift for her.  It was a journal and in the front cover she had written 'Dear Mum.  Give me the threads of your life and I will weave a blanket that will keep my daughter warm for the rest of her life'.

Make a commitment to develop these factors in yourself, and you'll build a solid foundation for all of the adventures you still have within you.