You can read minds easily

Have you ever wondered what people are thinking when you first meet them? What are they thinking about you? What are they expecting and how can you be ready to deal with their expectations. Its possible that every time you meet someone for the first time you can literally read their mind. There is no doubt that there are three questions that they want answered in the affirmative before they do business with you.

They need to know the answer to three questions:

1. Can you be Trusted?

2. Are you committed to excellence?

3. Do you care about me as a person, or is it just my money (or business) you want?

It comes from the story of Lou Holtz. He was a National Football League Coach in the States a few years ago. He took three (?) bottom teams from the bottom to the Super bowl with basically the same team personnel.

He credited his success on his emphasis to the team members to;

1. Do the right thing.

2. Be the best that you can be.

3. Follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated

So there you are! Now when you meet people for the first time you will be able to read their minds, even if they are not aware of their own thoughts; but you are aware and you can react appropriately.

It really is possible to read peoples minds.

Two Cups of Coffee

Those people that know me will know that I am a big fan of 'Coffee Shop Culture'. In those times when I have talked about it, many people will express that they like a brand or variety of coffee but for me it is not about the coffee. I read this a long time ago and I feel that it was time to get it out for another read.

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Learn the lesson and never forget that a cup of coffee with a friend, or a colleague, is never just a cup of coffee, its a means to connect, deepen relationships, grow your own life and make a difference in someone else's life. If someone asks you if you would like a coffee be aware that it is not about the coffee, but about a need that they feel you can meet in their life.  'Fletch'

Always say YES!

Motivated People

Sharon Pearson sends out an email every week and this was this weeks and I just felt it was important to share this around

1. Have a dream
2. Never, ever give up
3. Work with a practical and flexible plan
4. Know their values and live by them
5. Feel and get lucky
6. Show passion and enthusiasm

Warmest Regards,

Sharon Pearson

Who's Got a Tattoo then?

I was so impressed with the Picture of a Salvation Army tattoo I saw a few weeks ago that it reminded me of a time when I might have done the same thing; Salvo of the Salvo’s and all that sort of stuff. Not only was I impressed with the content of the Tattoo but it is a seriously good piece of art, and although I have only glanced at some of the Tattoo magazines occasionally, it would rank as equal to any of them as just ‘good stuff’.

The story is told of the Salvation Officer in North Korea who was banned from wearing his uniform when the Army was proscribed in the early 50’s. He was so disappointed that he had his insignia tattooed on his body so that they could not actually take away his expression of faith. (Someone might be able to confirm this piece of history for me) Now that is commitment and we will all have different views of that but just the same a tattoo is something that you cannot go back on very easily, is it?

Many people have been through mid life crisis and it has expressed it in many different ways. I was recently talking with someone about men in mid life crisis and she expressed a great deal of scorn about mature men who feel they need to compete in a younger world and have hair transplants and even face lifts and many of the other aspects that is perceived of fighting against the years, that need not be mentioned to this delicate audience; and she added the “imbecilic need some mature men have for red sports cars”. It was, I perceived a much practiced speech about the vagaries of men’s fight against maturity, and when she had finished I sort of agreed with her and dropped into the conversation that I used to have a 1980 red Triumph sports car that for a time was the love of my life. My perception is that she was more embarrassed than I was. At about that time of mid life crisis I did go and get an ear stud. When people asked me why I was able to say very confidently “I have two very good reasons for doing this; it’s my ear, and I could afford it” Now I know that you might say that is not a really good idea but at the time it seemed as good as any and it is still there and a few brave people ask me why.

Many years ago I heard a radio interview with a young DJ and a mature woman who was an expert in etiquette, people were ringing in and there was the usual I have got a tattoo here or there... and it was a very interesting discussion. At the end of the interview the mature woman said that she was going to get a tattoo, in an ‘intimate place’. The DJ was aghast and asked her why; “one day I will possibly have to be in care and people will have to do all sorts of intimate things for me that I can no longer do for myself. When they do these things they will see the tattoo and realise that this elderly woman who needs everything done for her, once had a life”. Whether you agree with her rationale or not is immaterial, it was important for her.

Around the same time as this much maligned mid life crisis attacked me, I was in the States and at the San Hose airport when the world changed forever. Yes 9/11 changed many people’s lives and the next week that I was in San Hose I went to sit in a Starbucks Coffee shop every day and for possibly the first time in my life had a major re-evaluation of what I was involved in and how I could make a more significant difference in the world. I am a serial joiner and I had quite a large list of the things that I was involved, what got on to that list to keep doing and what didn’t is a whole story but what did fall under the line was playing in brass bands, that at the time I was up to 48 years almost continually, but it went. On my eventual return to Australia I was wondering how I could recognise this decision to make a more significant event. Well you have realised, I am sure from the start of this article that I went and got a tattoo. I do not make a big thing of this but in most people’s minds the unspoken question is ‘where has he got it?’ and I can tell you that I saw in the tattoo studio things that made my eyes water, but I have it in a place where it is easy to see every morning in the bathroom mirror, and where it will remind me of that decision to make a greater difference in the world. Now the only thing left is what I should use.

I have always been fascinated with Jewish and Hebrew culture and one of my prized possessions is a small piece of rock from Masada that a friend brought home for me. So I decided that I would have תיקון עולם as the graphic. Now for all of you who are not fluent in Hebrew it is 'Tikkun Olan'. These are the characters that represent the concept of ‘to heal, mend and repair the world’. I am sure that it is not original as a tattoo but this one is mine and it is there forever so until the time I am in the twilight home for the bewildered and I can’t stand up to look in the mirror I will have that constant reminder of what I have to do today.

I would like to think that it s a magic answer to the motivation that we all seek, but it is just a reminder of a time when I reinvigorated my long standing decision to continue to try and make a positive difference in my world.

So there it sits looking at me and when I tell people, I am aware that they often put me into the segment between aging hippy and radical lefty which neither fits very well. Even with a tattoo I am still just me.

Now if you want advice on what tattoo is best for you...... give me a call and I will tell you how painful it was.

'My Tree'

Today I found my tree

I first drove to Adelaide to see my girl friend at Easter in 1965. We had met on a band trip a few years earlier, so I passed my driver’s licence, bought a beat up old 1948 series Holden and knew independence and freedom like never before. The world was mine and a 12 hour trip, overnight to see the love of my life; was not a problem. I can count the years since I first did the trip but have lost count of the number of times that I have actually ‘done the drive’.

Somewhere on one of those earlier trips I saw a tree that I just had to take a picture of. A tree had fallen over in a storm and only a small portion of its root system stayed in the ground; but it was still growing. Many years ago I used it as an illustration of the power that we all have to overcome adversity. A lot of vegetation comes and goes over the years and in more recent years I lost track of the real tree. I did have a photograph; you know one of those old fashioned ones that you had to take to a developing place and they developed these long flat bits of plastic and magically a picture appeared, and I occasionally found it when packing up, deciding what to throw out and what to keep, I always kept the photograph but every time I passed where I thought the real tree was I could not find it.

I cannot express my excitement 43 years after that first trip, on a beautiful day for driving as I was thinking about it and wondering if it had found its way to a fireplace, there it was just west of the Conconjella Bridge on the Adelaide side of Ararat. Would you think less of me if I told you that I got really excited and when it was safe to do so did a U turn to go back and have a look and yes this is the picture I took just a few weeks ago. After all these years it is still growing, new shoots and leaves and looking very healthy, even though it is lying down rather than standing up straight and tall not like most of all the others.

The more I have to do with people the more I feel the great pain that so many people experience, and in a sense reached a hiatus with the recent article I read on a blog on ‘Get Over it’. Then all the responses that referred to Jungian theory, and his possibly severe way of dealing with people who were stuck in their pain. Yes in our situation we need to identify with those in pain and sometimes just sit with them, but there does come a time when despite all that has happened the realisation comes that ‘Life does indeed, go on’. In his landmark book on the psychology of love M. Scott Peck starts with just three words: “Life is Difficult”, he then goes on to say that when we fully understand that, and accept it, we can then begin to put the whole of our life into context.

This picture of ‘My tree’, is eventually going to be a poster above my desk and when I see it I will always know that no matter how small my grip within my heritage is, I can still grow and flourish, and be a place where the birds of the air can come and nest. Knowing my hairstyle, that’s metaphorical rather than literal. I might look a little bit different to all the other trees but I am just as healthy and playing my part in the landscape of life.

Reality Strikes Again

I came across these words and I thought of the importance of being an authentic person, not just a flippant 'this is who I am like me or not' attitude but the real person that you are, and proud to call a friend.

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side....”does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.
“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very Shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand”
Margery Williams
The Velveteen Rabbit

So... Who are you then?

Just a night at the Salvo's, or was there something else?

Last evening I went to hear Bands in the Round at Northcote Town Hall. Five Salvation Army Bands who each played for 25 minutes and in the supper room next door there were some Sallie Trade displays and the ubiquitous cup of tea and a few other goodies for physical nourishment. It is a very old Concept and I can remember it going back 40 plus years ago, but it has been revived and a good time was had by all.
There was Waverly Temple Band, Box Hill Citadel Band, Ringwood Citadel Band, Camberwell Citadel Band and of course the Melbourne Staff Band or the MSB as they re affectionately known in the Army. Although the sound system was not of a very high standard and we lost some of the vocal dialogue it was in essence a hugely successful event. My over-critical ear told me that, this piece was played too fast and that piece was not exactly how the notes looked on the musical score, but there were highlights aplenty for lovers of brass bands. However for me there was nothing greater than the Richards arrangement of the old standard; 'I'll Walk with God' by the MSB. The arrangement was fantastic and the interpretation to my 'over-critical ear' was supurb. With the words on the screen it made it the complete presentation for me. The only thing that spoiled it for me was the applause at the end. I heard someone say once that 'the ultimate accolade is silence', but unfortunately it is a concept that a lot of people struggle with; however....
A brilliant night.
I also caught up with a lot of memories, people who I hadn't seen for many years, someone I went to Trade School with, people I served with in the dark distant past and I was even hugged by someone who I trained with and is one of the most respected Salvo's in this part of the world, who I respect above most and who I hadn't seen in so many years and so in the two minutes we tried to catch up on all that has happenned over the last twenty plus years, not an insignificant feat. I saw people who I recognised but couln't get a name from my internal filing cabinet but the night was full of really good memories.
There was an element of the night for me that transformed this from a just great band program, it even surpassed the religious aspect which is at the heart of all Salvation Army programs, it was a wonderful exercise in people being connected with people. There was history here, the result of a lot of hard rehearsal time and obvious talent but what stood out for me was the fact that here was a community in love with itself; not in a negative manner but in an all encompassing, accepting manner that quite obviously wants to just open up its corporate arms and welcome you in, like the hug from my old friend.
This was all about the people. The music was great, the displays were good but it was for me all about the people.
Bring on the next 'Band in the Round'.